Steve rants

I thought for a change i would blog about something I like so I thought I might tell you about my walk up Helvellyn.
Me and my mate Lee who you will see decided on a nice Sunday morning to go for a nice mellow walk with Bob the dog. We picked a route, found a place to park, got in the car, plugged the SatNav in and i spent most of the journey trying to work the damn thing but we got there without a glitch.
So like you do when you are stood there scratching your head in a village wondering where to start we decided to ask at the local post office, (friendly places with women inside that have all the answers, oh they also steal your change lol as Lee found out), so in went Lee and asked and a nice chap who owned it and was also going for a walk pointed out where to start and where to go.
Five minutes later we came to a fork in the path and anded up scratching our heads again, even Bob was scratching though it wasn't his head, so we flipped a coin and headed off again around a big hill, seemed like a logical way to go seeing as though the other way led to a road and the way we went seemed to head in roughly ish the right direction, how wrong can you be, I blame Bob of course he was leading us, he's supposed to be like SatNav on four legs, good sense of smell and all that.

Off we went in sort of ish the right direction the wrong way round up and down this hill and round a bit here and there till we spotted, right over the river and valley, a tiny little line of people walking along a path and lo and behold we realised that not only were we on the wrong path and the wrong hill but we should of took the other path to the road. But not to be put off by a minor miscalculation and after reprogramming Bobs sense of direction we took off in the direction of the river hoping to find a bridge.
I have to point out at this stage that i was wearing my trainers and the grass going down into the valley was very wet, anyone that has tried to walk downhill on wet grass in trainers will know what i mean when i say it wasn't long before i was sliding down on my bum, though I did pick myself up with dignity, did the whole look around thing to find Lee laughing and i'm sure Bob was smirking but i couldn't tell.
Off we went over the bridge we found ( lucky really seeing as no-one had wellies on ) and onto the the path we were supposed to be on.
Now as i mentioned it was a lovely day and because i smoke i warmed up pretty quickly and it wasn't long 'til i was down to a t-shirt strolling up a nice easy hill, enjoying the glorious sun with my good friend Lee and Bob the dog (even he took his coat off ).

As we strolled up it bacame apparent that once again we were in possibly the most beautiful place in the world, sometimes its good just to get away from it all, sit down take in the scenery (any excuse for a rest, couldn't let Lee know i was flagging;) ), as you can see it was a good place to do it.
It was half way up when i noticed that the glorious day was rapidly becoming a bad day and the top of Hellvelyn wasn't looking like the place to be without all the essential equipment, like boots and well looking at it ski's wouldn't of gone amiss, maybe a tent and well a ski lift and a nice little country pub with a roaring log fire, (sorry getting a bit carried away there :D ) but definately not jeans, t-shirt, trainers and absolutely no food or water :-/.
There's a fine body of people who go into the mountains and save people when they get stuck in bad weather, http://www.mountainrescue.org.uk/incid06.html , I was beginning to wonder if we were going to become one of those statistics :oops: , but Lee and I are brave people :D and i'm stupid :crazy: so on we went on relentless, me constantly checking to see if i could get a signal and hoping and praying (surprising how religious people can get sometimes ) that it would clear up and the sun would shine once more.
For anyone from anywhere else in the world reading this, yes we do have bad weather here :D and it can come out of nowhere ;) .
From the pictures below left and right and the picture just above on the right you can see what I mean :'(

As we got closer to the top we noticed a few people coming back down, careful examination of peoples equipment enabled us to find two people who we thought would give some good advice. I have to point out at this point that Lee ( pictured at the top of the page, young, free, single, owns own house and car ........ sorry Lee just kidding :> ), was in fact looking for somewhere called Striding Edge, a nice walk along a for want of a better word, precipice where in the wrong conditions you could slip and fall a loooong way :-/,
So we asked these two people how far and in which direction Striding Edge would be.
The two people looked at me up and down saw what i was wearing and you could see they were thinking "Oh my God , there is no way that he is going to walk along there in this wearing trainers and absolutely no safety equipment". I didn't even have a stick, (that bit's for you Rachel I know how you feel about sticks for walkers ;) ), but they gave us directions and told us that the going was fine, laughed a little bit and off they went, down the track, i'm pretty sure I heard them radioing mountain rescue but I can't be too certain of that.
We set off again looking for a hole in the wall that we were told about, get there they said and another hour or so walking and you get to death sorry Striding Edge.
It was a bit further on when i noticed the snow, how did I miss it, it was everywhere, so i decided to put my jumper on, then my coat, then i zipped up and put my hat on because in stark contrast to earlier it was now bloody freezing.

After slipping and sliding up the mountain we eventually found the " Hole in the wall ", or i think it was, actually it turnd out that it was just a hole in the wall and not THE Hole in the wall, that was further on where it was blizzarding.
It was time to put Bobs coat on poor fella he was running around like a mad dog trying to keep warm.

A little bit further up we were at the top and after careful consideration and a check on the time decided to chill there for a bit, take in the scenery and take a few pictures, except there was nothing to see as there snow everywhere :D , and the chancines of taking a picture were non-existant but Lee did get one of the top because it cleared momentarily.

After a quick mess about with the dog and trying to keep him from falling off the edge it was just a quick ski down back to where the snow stopped, (yes i did have to snow plow in my trainers much to the amusemnet of better equipped walkers ), then a gentle walk down back to the nice sunny weather.
This is a walk I would recomend to anyone who likes to get away from it all, you dont really need too much equipment but I think next time i will have some boots on and maybe a bit of food etc.
If you plan on going up there then enjoy, I know I certainly did. Till next time bye.

Ever had someone hassle you because theyve totally bolloxed their pc and you ” know something about them ” well heres a little tip.
How to make Diskette Bombs


You need:

- A disk
- Scissors
- White or blue kitchen matches (they MUST be these colors!)
- Clear nail polish

- Carefully open up the diskette (3.5″ disks are best for this!)

- Remove the cotton covering from the inside.

- Scrape a lot of match powder into a bowl (use a wooden scraper, metal might spark the matchpowder!)

- After you have a lot, spread it evenly on the disk.

- Using the nail polish, spread it over the match mixture

- Let it dry

- Carefully put the diskette back together and use the nail polish
to seal it shut on the inside (where it came apart).

- When that disk is in a drive, the drive head attempts to read
the disk, which causes a small fire (ENOUGH HEAT TO MELT THE DISK
DRIVE AND SCREW THE HEAD UP!!). ahahahahaha!
Chances are they wont ask you ever again to mend their pc …………. or speak to you ……………… oh and they might want to beat you up 88|

At least one of us has a mind ;) up to you now ;)